Vigil and Memories
by Lady of Lore
Summary: Alistair waits beside his beloved Tibiris as she recovers from the battle with the Archdemon. He remembers times they spent together. Contains spoilers if you have not completed the game yet.
1. Chapter 1

Vigil and Memories

Sabriel Tabiris lay unmoving under the soft blankets. The edges had been lovingly tucked around her.

The faintest of smiles touched the corner of his mouth seeing the tender kindness of Wynne. _She beat me to it I see._ But the smile faded and his face held deep lines of worry.

_She looks so much smaller without armor on._ He thought as he looked over her lithe figure. They had hardly taken their armor off these passed few days, he was struck by how delicate and fragile she looked.

He leaned over and brushed a stray lock of hair from her face and tucked it gentle behind Sabriel's pointed ear.

"My love," he breathed so softly he almost didn't hear himself. "Please. Please come back to me. Please Sabriel. I need you."

The injuries she had sustained during the battle with the archdemon were mostly healed but nothing it seemed could heal her soul. _Her body lives and yet she's not here._ He sighed deeply and ran his fingers through his hair.

"What good did it do to go through that horrible night with Morrigan if I lose you now?" He could not suppress a shudder as memories from that night fluttered up. He tried to lock it away in his mind, bury it so deep he wouldn't ever think of it again. His eyes roved around the room. Arl Eamon had been very kind in letting them stay in his estate in Denerim, even though he did not hide the resentment he felt in Alistair refusing to take the throne.

"I didn't ever want to be king! I don't know why Eamon set his hopes on it so much." He looked back to Sabriel. "Only you had listened to me then. Only you wanted to know what _I_ wanted. Anora would do just fine, just as she always had."

There was a soft knock at the door. Alistair ignored it. He didn't feel like talking or seeing anyone.

The door opened.

"Pardon my rude interruption my friend but Wynne asked me to let you know that the food is ready." The thick Antivan accent let Alistair know right away that it was Zeveran who stood at the door. "Our fearless leader will not go anywhere while you get some food into your stomach."

He waited a moment before continuing.

"If you'd like, I could stay with her while you eat."

"No!" Alistair said a little too quickly. "Uh… well what I mean is… I'd-"

The elf smiled impishly and gestured for Alistair to stay where he was. "Calm yourself Alistair. I will not tear you from the side of your love. I was only doing as Wynne asked me to do."

Zeveran turned to go then paused. "Do not think you are the only one who cares for her Alistair."

Alistair whirled around "What…" but Zeveran had already gone.

_Sneaky bastard. _

There was a soft sigh from the other side of the room and Alistair remembered that Falderan, Sabriel's mibari had stayed by his master's side.

"You can go get some dinner if you'd like Falderan." He said looking over.

Falderan wagged his tail a little and then whimpered softly and laid his head on his front paws. He obviously felt the same way Alistair did.

"I know my hairy friend. I know just how you feel." He said as he sat on the edge of the bed. "You know, I wonder sometimes why she fell in love with me. Sometimes I can't believe that she, the wonderful very special person that she is, wants me."

He wasn't sure why he was saying all of this to the mibari but it felt better to talk.


	2. Chapter 2

Memories

Alistair smiled as he remembered asking some of their companions for advice when he had wondered about telling Sabriel that he loved her. He had felt so awkward then, so flustered and nervous. It felt good to close his eyes and remember.

* * *

He had gone to Wynne first, thinking if anyone could help him, she could. Her sagely grandmotherly wisdom was always given freely and with kindness. _Yes, she would be the best person to ask._ He had told himself.

He found her near the fire and after a deep breath he said "Wynne, what would you do if someone told you that they loved you?

She looked up from the stew she was making. Her face showed surprise but there was a mischievous merriment in her eyes that made him regret saying anything to her. _Damn, I forgot what a minx she can sometimes be._

"Check their eyesight first, perhaps. Is this someone I should know about?" she said with a laugh.

Alistiar felt himself blush right up to his ears. "No. I mean, pretend you're a woman..."

"I am a woman, Alistair." She cut in. "That shouldn't be too hard, but I'll give it a try."

_Oh damn, that was not a good way to start this conversation_ he thought almost kicking himself.

"Ahhh, that's... not what I meant. Just... pretend you're another woman. And someone told you that they loved you. How would you react?" He hoped he didn't sound too desperate. He felt like his heart was in his throat and his hands had suddenly gotten very sweaty.

Wynne cocked her head to one side kept smiling, not unlike a cat who is watching a mouse. "Well, that depends. Does this someone just blurt it out? Do I love them back? I need context."

Feeling more and more flustered Alistair babbled "I... I don't know if you love them back. Maybe you do. You've... spent a lot of time with this person."

Her expression softened and she turned back to stirring the stew. "Perhaps you need to wait for the right moment? You could get her alone in camp, give her a gift perhaps."

_The right moment? When would that be? When all this with the darkspawn was over? When they finished saving Redcliff?_ He thought and realized that Wynne probably suspected who he was referring to.

"Oh, I wasn't talking about me... just... forget I said anything." He managed before he walked away.

He heard her chuckle behind him and said softly, "As you wish."

He had felt like bashing his head against the nearest tree as he walked farther from the camp, he felt so embarrassed…and…and…flustered. He had forgotten how grandmother figures could make you feel all nervous and embarrassed and pinch your cheeks till they were red and sore.

"At least I left before she could do that to me." He said absent mindedly touching his cheeks which felt hot to the touch.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Dragon Age and its characters belong to its respective owners and creators. I am merely borrowing them.

This chapter is from some of of the in game dialogue that comes up between Alistair and Leliana. Enjoy ^_^

* * *

Casual Conversation

_Okay Alistair. Get a hold of yourself. You can do this. Just try to make it casual conversation. That's right, casual…_he thought to himself as he made his way over to Leliana's tent. She was fussing with her armor, saying something about how it would do much better had it some colors in it.

He took a deep breath. "Hello Leliana, having trouble with your armor?"

She looked up at him, her eyebrows furrowed looking somewhat like a pouty little girl. Alistair almost laughed.

"Not especially. I was just thinking how it would look much better if it had some lavender on it. You know, like little lacey patterns or flowers across the shoulders or something."

"Riiiight…and I suppose ribbons from the hilt of your sword would make it look swooshier too." He said with a grin.

"Now that you mention it, ribbons would look nice hanging from the hilt of these!" she said getting excited and drawing her daggers. She dived for her pack and began rummaging through it.

_ Alright, give it a try_ he thought encouragingly to himself.

"So... you're female, Leliana, right?" _Stupid! What a stupid thing to say! You really are an idiot!_

Leliana sat back from her pack, a look of fake astonishment on her face. "I am? That's news. When did that happen?" She looked over her body with mock amazement and cupped her breasts for good measure. Alistair tried to keep his eyes higher up feeling himself blush.

"I just wanted some advice. What should I do if... if I think a woman is special and--" he said hastily trying to get the conversation back to where he wanted although the way Leliana moved her hands ever so slightly made his brain start to get slightly fuzzy.

"You want to woo her?" She said, still not taking her hands away. "Here's a good tip: you shouldn't question her about her female-ness." She tousled her hair for good measure.

_Damn, this is bad! Very very bad! Why does she have to…oh why does it remind me of Sabriel's…no! Don't think of that! Think of cold, yes cold snowy mountains, icy Lake Calenhad…_

"All right, yes. Good point." He managed, feeling his face bright red now,

"Why do you ask? Are you afraid things will not proceed naturally?" She asked dropping her hands now.

Alistair breathed a sigh of relief and looked towards the ground a little sheepish. "Why would they? Especially when I do things like ask women if they're female." He said honestly.

Leliana made a small sound that sounded like "awwww". He looked up at her face and he expression had softened.

"It adds to your charm, Alistair. You are a little awkward. It is endearing."

Alistair was confused. "So I should be awkward? Didn't you just say not to do things like that?" _Maker be blessed why did women have to be so damn complicated!_

"Just be yourself. You do know how to do that, don't you?" she said with a little laugh.

"All right, forget I asked." He said with a small sigh and turned to walk away.

"Alistair, wait!" she said taking a few steps after him.

He turned around. She beckoned him closer and whispered in his ear.

"Flowers are always appreciated. Try watching her and see what she likes, what does she admire or look at longingly." She gave him an encouraging wink and trotted back to her pack.

Alistair smiled as he walked back towards his tent. He knew what to give her now.

* * *

Yay! I'm not sure which scene I want to write about next....but I'll have it up soon!

Feedback and comments are heartily welcomed!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Dragon Age and its characters belong to its respective owners and creators. I am merely borrowing them.

The Rose

_Just give it to her already. You made up your mind a week ago and yet you still haven't done it! _Alistair berated himself as they traveled through the Brecilian forests.

They made camp that night and rested up from battling werewolves and darkspawn and everything other maker-forsaken creature that prowled the forests. Alistair stood by a small stream near the edge of camp and drew some water using a bucket.

His armor was filthy, coated in blood, grime, and werewolf spittle. He knew he'd made jokes with her about being raised by flying dogs but he really didn't want to smell like one.

Sabriel Tabiris happened to be walking by as he straightened up.

"Off to chat with Morrigan, no doubt." He said to himself. He couldn't understand why Sabriel made such an effort with Morrigan but- his mind suddenly took a detour as he watched her walk.

"Maker's breath, she is beautiful." He said softly not realizing or really caring that he was staring. A buzzing numbness was filling his brain.

A gentle "I see" interrupted his happy thoughts and he turned to see Wynne holding the bucket he hadn't realized he'd dropped. _Oh, no. She's got that wicked grin on her face. _

"Why are you smiling like that? You look suspiciously like the cat who swallowed the pigeon." He said putting his hands on his waist indignantly.

Wynne was still smiling. "Canary."

_Is she calling me a bird? Is that some new word for fool who stares at women and totally forgets what they were doing? _"What?" he asked, looking confused.

"I look like the cat that swallowed the canary." She said in a motherly, explaining tone that Alistair had grown all too used to.

Alistair breathed a small mental sigh of relief. "I once had a very large cat, but that's not my point. My point is why are you smirking?"

Wynne chuckled and Alistair frowned. "You were watching her."

His eyes opened wide and the blushing began to start. _Oh, no. Maker help me, she saw me!_

"With great interest, I might add. In fact, I believe you were...enraptured." she continued, the wicked grin never leaving her face.

_Come on man! Try to salvage some dignity! _ His mind yelled at him. He shifted nervously and turned away so he couldn't see that evil, evil smile._ "_She's our leader. I look to her for guidance."

"Oh, I see." Her voice dripped with sarcasm. "So what guidance did you find in those swaying hips hmm?"

_Definitely busted._ "No no no, I wasn't looking at...you know her...hind-quarters" he stammered.

He could almost feel Wynne's smile widening even though he had his back to her. "Certainly." She said simply.

"I gazed...glanced, in that direction, maybe, but I wasn't staring...or really seeing anything even." He said, his voice cracking when he said "glanced".

Back to the grandmotherly tone Wynne simply said. "Of course."

Feeling the blush running up to his ear tips, Alistair crossed his arms and pouted. "I hate you. You're a bad person."

Wynne laughed and by the way her voice got fainter Alistair knew she as walking away. He breathed a deep breath, steadying himself then walked over to the stream and dunked his head right in.

The cold water took his breath away and he sat back with a gasp, feeling the cool water trickle down his neck and onto his clothes. _Ah, that's much better._ He thought though his teeth were beginning to chatter. With a will, he set to cleaning his armor.

* * *

Feeling much better and much cleaner, Alistair walked back towards camp. Thankfully the others had either gone off to sleep or were busy with other things.

Sabriel was walking back from Morrigan's side of the campsite. Alistair took a deep breath and waved her over.

"Could I have a word with you?" he said, feeling more calm then he had expected. The cold stream had helped more than he had realized. He unwrapped the rose and handed it gently to her.

"Here, look at this. Do you know what this is?"

Sabriel smiled mischievously but he noticed that something in her face seemed to soften. "Your new weapon of choice?"

He laughed, _I really like that quick wit of hers_. "Yes, that's right. Watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements! Feel my thorns, darkspawn! I will over power you with my rosy scent!"

She laughed with him, her smile making him feel slightly light headed. _Oh Maker, the way she smiles…_

"Or you know. It could just be a rose. I know that's pretty dull in comparison." He said with a small shrug.

"Feeling thorny are we?" she said, her voice almost a purr.

Alistair couldn't help bursting into laughter. They way she had said that made his heart stutter. "She'll never see through that' I told myself. Boy was I wrong."

She laughed. "Oh relax, I happen to like it."

He could tell that she did truly like it from the way that she held it and the way that her warm brown eyes kept going from him to the rose.

"I guess it is a bit silly, isn't it? I just thought…here I am doing all this complaining, and you haven't exactly been having a good time of it yourself." He felt sad thinking of all the things she had not been able to know. Duncan…the other grey wardens…

"You've had none of the good experience of being a Grey Warden since your Joining, not a word of thanks or congratulations. Its all been death and fighting and tragedy." He could see that what he said was true. Sabriel looked out towards the fire. He could guess that must have been how she was feeling. That's how he would have felt if it had been him and he probably would have made more of a fuss.

"I thought maybe I could say something." She turned back and looked right into his eyes. He could see his words had touched her and he was glad. "Tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst al this…darkness."

_Ha! She's blushing! Oh Maker, she's really blushing! I think she likes me!_ He thought as he fought to keep his smile from turning into a huge ridiculous grin.

"I feel the same way about you." She replied softly. She was still looking away but she was smiling a little now too.

"I'm glad you like it. Now…if we could move right on past this awkward, embarrassing stage and get right to the steamy bits, I'd appreciate it." He said not believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.

Sabriel look surprised but she recovered quickly. "Sounds good. Off with the armor, then."

_By the Maker! She's good! _He knew his face must have been redder than a fireball and felt just as hot. "Ha, ha. Bluff called! Damn she saw right through me. " He said throwing his hands up.

Sabriel smiled. "You're so cure when you're bashful."

Alistair laughed. "I'll…be over here…until the…blushing stops…" He turned quickly and walked away wondering like crazy if Sabriel had really meant it.

***

Hope you liked it! More to come as we go back to Alistair sitting in Sabriel's room.


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